Can the EU build an empire without a bearded lady?

As the EU continues to drift beyond feasible parody, a new champion of Europe has overnight become more recognizable than any euro-candidate.

A seminal moment or three has arrived in the European Parliamentary election process. Pan-European engagement in the process beyond the candidates and media, who are desperate to keep felling trees daily, has comprehensively failed. Even one EU President, Herman Van Rompuy, has used the ever-decreasing Euro election turnout trend as a means to deprecate the hunt in the elusive ‘President Nemo’process.

In one of several remarkable outbursts recently, the former Belgian Prime Minister noted that with electoral apathy widespread, the European parliament has little democratic legitimacy to elect a popular President. Alas the logical rationalization to just abandon the whole Euro farago escapes him: with a Kafka-esque twist, Van Rompuy suggests even more totalitarian power should be vested in the entirely unelected coterie of Eurofanatics whose only solution to any problem is: ‘more Europe’ (even when the issue appears to be a problem with Europe itself). A remarkably deft syllogism would be one verbose description for this remarkable hypocrisy from the ‘only democratic when it suits him,’ Mr Van Rompuy. “Utter self-serving drivel” might however more suit the zeitgeist of the age as Eurosceptical parties are rising so swiftly that Eurofanatics are discussing a ‘grand coalition’ to ensure the EU can keep strangling the continent with red tape and flawed policies.

Meanwhile mainstream Europhile media have barely mentioned Mr Van Rompuy’s latest somewhat messianic outburst, an interview perhaps more suitable to the heyday of Europe’s absolute monarchs. Speaking with Dutch newspaper De Standaard, Van Rompuy made a series of remarkable assertions. The overall tone was akin to something much more pre-WWII in scope, leading some in the blogosphere to publish photographs with additional swastika flags behind EU Presidents’ Van Rompuy and Barroso.

Likening the EU to the horrors of the Nazis is a pretty savage charge but then again there was a whiff of a spirit akin to “Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Rompuy” in the interview as the unelected president made an unapologetic bid to expand the EU’s remit throughout Europe, including the former Yugoslavia, right up to Russia’s borders. The EU’s disastrous Ukrainian manipulations, it seems, are only part of a breathtakingly arrogant grand design.

A truly frightening element of Mr Van Rompuy’s comments is that he expressly endorses EU expansionism regardless of what the people want! To wit, if voters don’t support EU expansion well beyond the current 28 members, then Van Rompuy believes his cadre of unelected eurocrats must push ahead, executing the Euro-expansion plan regardless of any public opposition to maneuvers by Brussels. Perhaps even more terrifying than the arrogant hubris of such outrageous comments is the desire of the federal fanatics not merely to shoehorn unsuspecting sovereign states into a single nation structure, but also to create a pan-European defense force - all overseen by the same shadowy unelected clique.

Meanwhile, despite the best efforts of the media cheerleaders for Brussels’ machinations, which endeavor to reverse popular disengagement with the upcoming Euro Parliament vote (in a fortnight), we have seen at least one quantum shift during the past few days. This year’s annual glamfest, the uber-kitsch Eurovision Song Contest has now delivered somebody who has more recognition than any existing eurocrat, or the various folk vainly criss-crossing the EU, purporting to be presidential candidates while channeling their ‘inner Nemo.’

Some 180 million TV viewers watched an Austrian ‘bearded’ lady scoop the Eurovision prize at the weekend with a remarkable blend of ‘blingspiel’ and ‘chutzpah.’ Thus Thomas Neuwirth via his performing alter ego, Conchita Wurst, has leapfrogged in public consciousness to become palpably more recognizable to European voters than any of the leading Euro Parliament candidates, including identikit Nemo-presidential wannabes and, indeed, even incumbent presidents: Portugal’s most famous Maoist export, Jose Barroso and his fellow ‘tweedle-president’ exemplifying the democratic deficit at the heart of Europe: Mr Van Rompuy himself. Who knows, perhaps in an effort to be more recognizable to voters, we will see leading candidates dressing in sleek tight-waisted sequined dresses to attract attention on the hustings? Socialist leader Martin Schulz has the prerequisite beard already.

Accepting the Eurovision trophy, Conchita Wurst uttered the memorable line: “'We are unity and we are unstoppable.” Doubtless President Van Rompuy was humming along to this refrain. Perhaps he will even nominate sequined superstar Conchita as his presidential replacement…

At least people know who she is.

The statements, views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of RT.